Mmmm Dragon’s Den fan fiction, what ever is the world coming to? In my defence I wrote this because I’m doing Susan Hill’s creative writing course and this was one of the assignments.
-
Two men approached the Dragons, carrying the tools of their demonstration in their arms. The first man, in a shiny suit straight from a High Street hanger was carrying a portable combined TV and DVD player. The second man, in a pair of old creased trousers, a fraying shirt and Fair Isle tank top was carrying a small black plastic bag, the studio lights bounced off his bald spot. The first man set the portable TV on top of one of the two waiting tables, its plug hanging loose. The second man rustled anxiously in his plastic bag and withdrew a small wooden box with a glass lid. Trailing from the box was what looked like a normal plug socket tacked on. He set the box on the other table and plugged the plug from the TV into the box’s plug socket. He then pulled out a single old-fashioned candle in a simple old-fashioned candleholder and a simple box of matches and placed it next to the wooden box. The Dragons waited expectantly. Shiny Suit spoke,
“My name is Gary Peterson and I’m here today to ask for £20 000 for a 5% stake in my business. What I have here today is guaranteed to make you beg for a stake in my business, you’ll be offering more just to get a foot in the door because this invention is going to change the world.”
The Dragons predictably looked the gamut of emotions ranging from disgust to incredulous laughter to being spoken to like that, but Shiny Suit pressed on.
“I’ll demonstrate. Dim the studio lights and draw the blinds”, he spoke with a cockiness, already assured within himself that he would get the money.
The studio lights were dimmed and the specially installed blinds were drawn over the warehouse windows. Tank Top’s fingers trembled as he tried once and then tried again to light the candle with his matches. The candle lit, casting a dim flickering light over the room. Before Tank Top had even put the spent match back into the box of matches, the TV which was plugged into the wooden box came to life and the DVD within started playing, the first season of Dragon’s Den.
The Dragon’s stared at the set up before them, not sure what was happening. Peter Jones had to get up and investigate.
“There’s got to be batteries or something in this wooden box here”, as he went to pick it up his hand closed over the box’s glass top and the TV suddenly went blank and then as he moved his hand again to peer inside the box, the TV started to play again.
“There’s nothing in here,” he said. He then went behind the TV to check for extra power sources, he could find none.
Shiny Suit stood there smugly. “Now you can see what this invention can do, who would like to place me an offer?”
Peter shrugged and walked back to his seat.
Duncan Bannatyne spoke up “Hang on a minute now. Can you just tell us what exactly this is?”
“This” said Shiny Suit pausing for dramatic effect as the studio lights and the black out blinds were raised “is the answer to the world’s energy crisis.”
“This” he paused again, disconnecting the wooden box, making the TV go blank and holding the box up lovingly, like one would with the key to all their fortunes “will take any amount of light. Even that from a feeble single candle and convert it to limitless amounts of useful electricity.”
“So, it’s a solar panel?” asked Theo Paphitis.
“It’s more than that,” answered Shiny Suit.
“How so?” pushed Theo.
Shiny paused, looking intently at the box for the answers.
Theo tapped his pen against the arm of his chair.
Shiny continued to stare at the box.
“I mean you invented this? Tell us as straight forward as you can, how does it work? Why is it different from other solar panels?”
Shiny’s free hand flapped animatedly, pointing at the box in his other hand, as if he could not quite believe that he had not got his money yet.
“I mean look. You saw what it can do. Isn’t that enough?”
“I am intrigued. But I’m not going to invest in your company just on the basis of a demonstration with a candle, a wooden box and a TV DVD player! Tell us how it works!”
“That, that’s commercially confidential,.”
“Do you even know how it works? Where’s your engineering degree, your background, your experience. What and who exactly do you want me to invest in? Who for example is your friend here, who you so rudely did not introduce?” Theo pointed at Tank Top Man.
Tank Top Man, who had been slowly retreating into the shadows at the back of the studio, mouth hung open.
Theo addressed him directly “Who are you?”
“Rupert Freed, sir.”
“And your involvement in this project?”
Shiny cut him off before Rupert could even reluctantly open his mouth.
“He’d still be in that shed, if it wasn’t for . . .”
Theo cut him off with glare “It’s nice to meet you. Please tell us about the history behind your invention.”
“Well I went to Cambridge sir. Studied engineering, but I err dropped out. I work in a supermarket now but I do like to tinker in my spare time.”
“You invented that box?” asked Deborah Meaden sympathetically.
“Yes. It’s just a toy really. But I got chatting about it on an internet chat room. That’s how I met Gary here; he suggested we take it on here.”
Deborah glared at Shiny Suit and then turned to Tank Top again “And does it do more than just power TVs with candles?”
“Oh yes it does. I’ve used it to plug in my mum’s old electric cooker to cook the Sunday roast. Stuck it on top of my fly-mo to do the garden. I haven’t tried much else, since talking about it on the internet there’s been some strange looking men hanging round behind my back fence.”
“Well I don’t know about the rest of the Dragons, but I will invest in you. On one condition.”
Tank Top nodded.
“You loose the man in the Shiny Suit.”
Two men approached the Dragons, carrying the tools of their demonstration in their arms. The first man, in a shiny suit straight from a High Street hanger was carrying a portable combined TV and DVD player. The second man, in a pair of old creased trousers, a fraying shirt and Fair Isle tank top was carrying a small black plastic bag, the studio lights bounced off his bald spot. The first man set the portable TV on top of one of the two waiting tables, its plug hanging loose. The second man rustled anxiously in his plastic bag and withdrew a small wooden box with a glass lid. Trailing from the box was what looked like a normal plug socket tacked on. He set the box on the other table and plugged the plug from the TV into the box’s plug socket. He then pulled out a single old-fashioned candle in a simple old-fashioned candleholder and a simple box of matches and placed it next to the wooden box. The Dragons waited expectantly. Shiny Suit spoke,
“My name is Gary Peterson and I’m here today to ask for £20 000 for a 5% stake in my business. What I have here today is guaranteed to make you beg for a stake in my business, you’ll be offering more just to get a foot in the door because this invention is going to change the world.”
The Dragons predictably looked the gamut of emotions ranging from disgust to incredulous laughter to being spoken to like that, but Shiny Suit pressed on.
“I’ll demonstrate. Dim the studio lights and draw the blinds”, he spoke with a cockiness, already assured within himself that he would get the money.
The studio lights were dimmed and the specially installed blinds were drawn over the warehouse windows. Tank Top’s fingers trembled as he tried once and then tried again to light the candle with his matches. The candle lit, casting a dim flickering light over the room. Before Tank Top had even put the spent match back into the box of matches, the TV which was plugged into the wooden box came to life and the DVD within started playing, the first season of Dragon’s Den.
The Dragon’s stared at the set up before them, not sure what was happening. Peter Jones had to get up and investigate.
“There’s got to be batteries or something in this wooden box here”, as he went to pick it up his hand closed over the box’s glass top and the TV suddenly went blank and then as he moved his hand again to peer inside the box, the TV started to play again.
“There’s nothing in here,” he said. He then went behind the TV to check for extra power sources, he could find none.
Shiny Suit stood there smugly. “Now you can see what this invention can do, who would like to place me an offer?”
Peter shrugged and walked back to his seat.
Duncan Bannatyne spoke up “Hang on a minute now. Can you just tell us what exactly this is?”
“This” said Shiny Suit pausing for dramatic effect as the studio lights and the black out blinds were raised “is the answer to the world’s energy crisis.”
“This” he paused again, disconnecting the wooden box, making the TV go blank and holding the box up lovingly, like one would with the key to all their fortunes “will take any amount of light. Even that from a feeble single candle and convert it to limitless amounts of useful electricity.”
“So, it’s a solar panel?” asked Theo Paphitis.
“It’s more than that,” answered Shiny Suit.
“How so?” pushed Theo.
Shiny paused, looking intently at the box for the answers.
Theo tapped his pen against the arm of his chair.
Shiny continued to stare at the box.
“I mean you invented this? Tell us as straight forward as you can, how does it work? Why is it different from other solar panels?”
Shiny’s free hand flapped animatedly, pointing at the box in his other hand, as if he could not quite believe that he had not got his money yet.
“I mean look. You saw what it can do. Isn’t that enough?”
“I am intrigued. But I’m not going to invest in your company just on the basis of a demonstration with a candle, a wooden box and a TV DVD player! Tell us how it works!”
“That, that’s commercially confidential,.”
“Do you even know how it works? Where’s your engineering degree, your background, your experience. What and who exactly do you want me to invest in? Who for example is your friend here, who you so rudely did not introduce?” Theo pointed at Tank Top Man.
Tank Top Man, who had been slowly retreating into the shadows at the back of the studio, mouth hung open.
Theo addressed him directly “Who are you?”
“Rupert Freed, sir.”
“And your involvement in this project?”
Shiny cut him off before Rupert could even reluctantly open his mouth.
“He’d still be in that shed, if it wasn’t for . . .”
Theo cut him off with glare “It’s nice to meet you. Please tell us about the history behind your invention.”
“Well I went to Cambridge sir. Studied engineering, but I err dropped out. I work in a supermarket now but I do like to tinker in my spare time.”
“You invented that box?” asked Deborah Meaden sympathetically.
“Yes. It’s just a toy really. But I got chatting about it on an internet chat room. That’s how I met Gary here; he suggested we take it on here.”
Deborah glared at Shiny Suit and then turned to Tank Top again “And does it do more than just power TVs with candles?”
“Oh yes it does. I’ve used it to plug in my mum’s old electric cooker to cook the Sunday roast. Stuck it on top of my fly-mo to do the garden. I haven’t tried much else, since talking about it on the internet there’s been some strange looking men hanging round behind my back fence.”
“Well I don’t know about the rest of the Dragons, but I will invest in you. On one condition.”
Tank Top nodded.
“You loose the man in the Shiny Suit.”
It comes to something when me and Mr. Lacer are watching CBeebies when there arn’t even any kids in the room, but Pingu is on (actually quite a lot of new stuff on today, a pantomimish Monster Cafe, a space pirate thing where I’m sure they’ve nicked the ship graphic from Blue Peter – note that I watch Blue Peter or anything and there’s a brand new Charlie and Lola knocking about to, not that I’ve watched that yet but it is on the DVR 
). Anyway, THEY’VE RUINED PINGU BECAUSE THEY’VE BUT A VOICE OVER ON IT!!!! Just imagine it, yes it’s that bad!
